Relationships are a hot topic in the world today. Social media has put more emphasis on relationship status. What I see on social media is more young people getting engaged.
This is nothing new. Most of us have parents and grandparents who got married in their teens. However, social media and the Internet have allowed anyone and everyone to voice their opinions about young marriage.
Right now, I am 21. I am engaged, and I will be married in less than two months. To most people, it is too young. It is rushing things and, the most common analogy I hear, is: It is like “leaving the party at 9 p.m.” Those comments come from my family and people who think they know better than I do.
I understand why my family is concerned, because they want what is best for me. However, I am not going to change my mind. I feel like I am fully prepared to say my wedding vows and live them out.
Let’s take a look at traditional vows:
For better or for worse – Loving people is easy when things are “better,” but when the “worse” comes, things get tough. CJ and I have seen each other through some pretty low points, and I am sure, during our time together, we will see each other at our worst.
Because I have seen him at his low points, I have an idea of how he acts in those situations, and it has given me a better understanding of him. Hopefully, whenever we face hard times in the future, I will be able to love him in the best way I can.
For richer or for poorer – We are both struggling college students. We both have jobs. CJ and I have a joint account, and we both contribute to it. CJ has helped me pay for apartment rent and groceries for the past year, because I could not afford it on my own.
We know what it is like to have hundreds in our account, and we know we know what it is like to have $10. CJ and I have learned how to budget with each other and still take care of our needs. CJ has always been great at saving. On the other hand, I have always been great at spending. He has helped me to save more than I spend. Using “our” money has really strengthened our communication as a couple.
In sickness and in health – CJ and I have not suffered through any serious illnesses, but we have made it through surgeries, trips to the ER, doctor visits and various other things. He always makes me feel better, and I know he will take care of me. He is always there, and I can count on him.
To love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part – I promised this a long time ago, and I have no intentions of ever going back on my promise.
People always say we should save and be financially stable before we get married, but I am going to be poor at 21 whether I am married or not. I would rather spend those years with someone who will make them less miserable. Marrying CJ is going to make me happy even with the inevitable arguments and low budget.
I think it is very selfish for anyone to not want me to experience that happiness just because they disagree with my choices. I am not going to allow fear of divorce or poverty to control the way I live. It is my life, my love and my happiness, and I will gladly face the adversity that comes with it.
I do not need CJ to complete me. I do not need my 20s to “find myself,” and I do not need to date 50 more people to know that he is the one. I do not need to spend the next 10 years getting to know him better. I have known him since I was 12 years old, and I get to know him more every day. Being married allows me to get to know him on another level that 10 more years of unmarried life will not give me.
We are going to travel together and grow together. We are going to love each other more and for different reasons. We are going to achieve goals together. We are going to build a life together.
We do not have unrealistic expectations that our marriage will be easy. Our relationship has not been perfect, and it has made us stronger. Our love alone may not make our marriage work, but our commitments to each other will.
If you do not want to get married until you are 30, then don’t. However, do not put others down because they want to get married young. I am at the point in my life where I have decided that I am ready to make this commitment, and I could not be more excited about it. I know I will not be missing out on anything life has to offer by marrying young because I am marrying the man who fulfills my life in more ways than I ever imagined possible.